Why is it so hard to trust? Just thinking about trusting someone with one of my important tasks or anything I hold dear to my heart gives me anxiety. Why is it so hard to let people in? Maybe you’re an extroverted people person and you love spilling your guts, dreams, ambitions, and secrets to people. Good for you! I wish I had that gift of extroversion. I’m more of the grudge holding, make it look good on the outside, keep it all inside until I start bursting into flames type. Sure, now I do a little public speaking and occasionally word vomit on the internet, but I have to tell you it took a LONG time to get this far. God had to prepare the heck out of me to be vulnerable. I still hesitate to let people in and sometimes thinking about sharing things about myself makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
Why is it so hard to trust others with ourselves? Well, isn’t it obvious? Because in the past people have taken that little bit they have of you and manipulated it, lied about it, and even slandered it. Meaning, they’ve taken your vulnerability and used it to hurt you and others. The biggest reason I ignored God’s call on my life is because I was afraid of getting hurt. Let’s be honest, I’m still terrified of being hurt and abandoned by people. Ministry is great when it’s great, but it’s the WORST when it’s at it’s worst. I’ve lived through it, witnessed it, and held my tongue about it. It’s hard work. This isn’t just true in ministry and the Church, but in literally everything we do. When people have crushed you. You know, when they’ve squished you and the people you love just enough to watch you squirm in pain for a little while. They haven’t completely sucked the life out of you, but it’s enough to scar you for the rest of this side of eternity. Yeah, that pain. Why do people do this? Because they are humans and the enemy works days, nights, and weekends.
But, guess what? The good news is that God is not human. The good news is you CAN trust Him and He won’t ever do anything to scar or harm you. I mean ever. Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding…” Wait, so I’m not supposed to live out of that fear of abandonment or hurt? Instead I’m supposed to trust God with it. The good thing is that God always catches me when we do the trust fall exercise. He has my back. The God of all of Creation has YOUR back. He will see you through the abandonment, the crushing, the squirming, the guilt, and the fear every. dang. time.